Friday, April 3, 2015

Turning into my Mother

In what ways are you turning into your mother?

I have no idea how to answer that question, because I'm not really concerned about "turning into my mother." We're too different. I do catch myself in these weird Becky-like mannerisms. Or Zay will point out to me that I'm doing something that makes me look just like her. Ha ha. But other than both looking dorky (or acting spastic) sometimes and following the same religion, we think a lot differently and I don't worry about us overlapping in that way. Maybe if I was around her again, I'd notice things more...

But speaking of my Mama, I spent a couple hours on the phone with her yesterday. This is not an uncommon occurrence. We don't let a week go by when we're not yapping to each other about something or another. And I'm not even a phone person. I hate the phone usually. But talking to my mama is a regular thing. My accent comes back and everything. I miss that dang accent!!

"Sweet Becky," we call her

I think when I was younger I hated the thought of "becoming my mom." I had a lot of mom issues growing up. We bumped heads about a lot of things and I really tried to push her buttons. Becoming an adult, getting married, moving far away, and starting my own life really helped our relationship. We talk about everything now. She's actually got a lot of wisdom to share, who would've thought? Ha ha. I think when you're a teenager you really honestly DO NOT believe that your parents know ANYthing. It's nice to talk to her adult-to-adult now.

She's had some health problems that have convinced her that she doesn't need to live alone anymore, but she is having a really hard time thinking about leaving the house she's lived in for 30-something years. The house she has so many memories attached to. The house that I grew up in. The house that is tied to her past and things she really doesn't want to let go (or admit that she lost a long time ago and things aren't ever going back to the way they were).

But she wants to move. And she thinks that move should be to Utah. Sigh... I really want that for her. I think she would be much happier out here. I think it would be so awesome to have her around her grandkids. It would also mean we couldn't just up and move back to Georgia and leave her here. (Dang, things keep keeping us here!) But I've pushed those thoughts out of my mind and have really focused on talking her into making this big move. I want her out of that house... it's a death trap. I know because I grew up there. It's not fit for living in. I want her to really know my kids. I want her near so that I can take care of her. Maybe she'll even find a nice Mormon man out here. :)

One thing that was holding her back from moving was her two dogs. She really just wouldn't be able to travel with them, so she'd have to leave them behind with someone. I've been trying to convince her that her grandkids are more important than her animals. I kept joking that I was going to send a hit man to "take care of her dogs" so that she could let go and move on. Yesterday she called me to tell me that one of her dogs was run over and eventually died. I felt awful. She was in the car when it happened (but not the one driving). She scooped little Pooky up and quickly took her to the vet. She had too much internal bleeding and finally passed away after my mom insisted on keeping her alive and giving her pain medicine rather than having them put her down. My mom was an emotional wreck about it. Part of me thought... one dog down, one to go. Is that evil of me? I just know in the long run it's going to be good for her.

Mama & the dogs a couple years ago. I really do feel bad about Pooky...

Anyway, the point is that things keep happening that are pointing her in the direction of leaving the past and stepping into a completely different future. A future that might include living with us in Utah. Zay is.... okaaaaay about this. Ha ha ha. Meaning he's agreed, but he doesn't think she'll actually go through with it. But if she does... he says, "Oh boy. Yall gonna be ganging up on me in arguments." Tee hee. Yeeeaaaah, maybe. :)

We're gonna visit Georgia sometime around Christmas this year and the plan is that my mom will come back with us for a few weeks to test the waters and see how she'd really like it here and spend some time getting to know Kal (now that he's older) and help out with Shak. I'm gonna make it like the best few weeks ever so that she won't wanna go home... And maybe I'll secretly bulldoze her house while she's gone. It sure needs it.

I love my mama. Ha ha.

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