Saturday, January 17, 2015

The One

The day before Thanksgiving, I was just going about my business, checking my usual adoption-related blogs. I saw a post entitled "Family Needed." I opened it, read it. And instead of clicking out of it and moving on with my day, I hesitated. I sat there and stared at that screen for a really long time. I saved the page. I sent an email with our profile to the email listed. I knew nothing of the agency involved or anything. Just generic info like gender, due date, location, estimated expenses, etc. The same old stuff that I read over and over and over again. But I hesitated on this one. There was something about it.

We had JUST talked about IVF and were planning to do that come January. We were checked out mentally from adoption. Just hanging in there until LDS Family Services wouldn't be doing adoptions anymore, switch agencies maybe, and just put a pause on adoption thoughts (let the new agency do the work) while we set up some fertility treatments. But I sat there on that screen and just stared at the info, hoping they would get back to me. They did, pretty quickly. Not too long after that, someone I don't even know tagged me in the exact same situation in a FB adoption-sharing group. SO WEIRD. I can't even track down who tagged me now. Thank you, guardian angel!

I got the email with more detailed information about this situation. I read every line of it. Devoured it. Felt soooo good about it. Saved it. Tried to cyber stalk this expectant mom (cuz that's what I do, ha ha). Could this be it? Could this be the one? Do I dare hope? Well, very quickly one thing led to another. "S" loved our profile. We had a conference call the Saturday after Thanksgiving and we are officially MATCHED with (what I thought was) a baby girl, due Feb 20th. It's through an agency we probably would've never worked with had it not been for this particular situation standing out from the crowd.

Leading up to the conference call, I was freaking out a little. But the actual call went well. Awkward the first couple seconds and then we just got to talking and the conversation flowed. We only talked for 30 minutes (that felt like a short amount of time to me) before the caseworker cut us off kind of abruptly. She called back later with the news that S definitely wanted to move forward with us. So that was that. :)


A friend once forwarded me an adoption situation she saw on Facebook and told me, "If you get a baby off a facebook post, I might have a heart attack." Well, that's kinda what happened here. Ha ha. I sent her this email:

I'm gonna freak out for 12 weeks until her due date. But she was so awesome! Very collected and happy to talk to us, but nervous and hoped we'd want to adopt her baby. Good head on her shoulders. Kept talking about having a 2nd chance and why-oh-why does she keep doing the same dumb things and going back to the same kind of guys and not pushing herself to get in school and make something of herself. Zay did a great job of relating to her and talking to her about her future. ... We talked a lot about her and not so much about the baby or adoption, other than it being a 2nd chance for her to get her act together, which she knows she needs to do. We didn't talk long enough, I thought. The caseworker was all butting in. But we have time. There's so much more to talk about, I think. But she's excited to get to know us and hopefully that'll happen organically over the next 12 weeks and it won't be an awkward meeting when we finally meet. I was impressed by her strength and self-awareness and determination. I think this one might be "the one"! We shall see. :) :) :)

Right after the conference call, Zay started talking about baby names. That's how I know he's hopeful. If he thought it didn't feel right, he'd say it straight up. He did with the last two (I just didn't listen... ha ha). But when it does feel right, he just kind of talks about the future and says things like "maybe" and "if it happens." Never with any excitement in his voice. Ole punk. Can't show any emotion!! He's been watching Game of Thrones, so he was like - what about Khaleesi? Ummmm, no. Ha ha. He's such a nerd. No Game of Thrones names, come on now. And no more K names!

I immediately assessed the money situation, applied for an adoption loan, made a list of questions I still had for S... and began very hesitantly dreaming of a little girl... our one hope, our little miracle-to-be. Coming so soon, but not soon enough!





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