Sunday, February 28, 2010

I Tried to Make it Through 6 Cycles

Cycle #2

2 850mg Metformin/day
4 50mg Clomid/day on days 3-7

Did I ovulate? Yes

Am I pregnant? NO

... I tried to make it through 6 cycles this year, but I'm thoroughly exhausted. I really didn't think that taking my temperature everyday and taking a few pills would drive me crazy, but I'm getting there. I just need a break from "trying." I wanted to get through June, but it's only March and I can't take it anymore. Oh, well. I deserve a break. In total, I've been on fertility meds since November of 2008 = 1 year and 4 months. That time period included 13 cycles, 6 of which were anovulatory. I was "naturally" trying to conceive since we got married, which was for 4 years and 4 months before that.

I'm really ready to stop thinking about it. I've been hanging on for some reason, thinking I couldn't give up when I could get pregnant just this next cycle... and then the next one... and then the next one. Screw this Fertility Game Plan.

So, no more infertility specialist visits for awhile. No more choking down horse pills everyday. No more waking up at the exact same time every single day and laying perfectly still as I take my resting body temperature. No more timing sex. No more! When I get up enough energy to start again, I'll let yall know. For now, I'm gonna focus on getting back to a happy state of mind... and focus on adoption.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Background Checks: DONE

Zay admitted to me that he has been apprehensive about the whole adoption thing... ever since we actually started the process. He was fine with the idea in theory, but actually doing it scared him a little. He doesn't like the idea of people being able to tell us "no". He's not one to get his hopes up about anything and he's definitely not a risk-taker. To him, this all feels like a "risk". So, that's pretty much why he's been slow-poking about everything. I wish he knew how much he deserves this opportunity (opportunity, not risk).

BUT, his apprehension has slowly been fading away and I don't even have to pressure him to do things as much! That makes me happy, because this is supposed to be a mutual decision and I don't want to think that I made him do something. He's coming around. And he's such a softie. I know once a child is in his arms, he's just going to melt.

We went up to Taylorsville this morning and got our background checks and fingerprinting DONE. We were going to do it last Monday, but for some reason somebody decided to make it President's Day! No one told me! Ha ha. But Monday is the only day of the week we both have the time to get things done together, and today was the day that we actually got it done. They've sent our info and fingerprints to the FBI (scary...ha ha) and we signed waivers so that the Bureau of Criminal Identification can release any information to LDS Family Services as needed.

I also spent hours yesterday and today, searching through stacks and stacks of papers - papers that haven't even been touched since the last time we moved. And I found Zay's birth certificate that I was looking for! And it's a certified copy! I was so excited! My mom mailed me a certified copy she had of mine, so I was able to check those two things off the list.

I'm requesting a copy of our marriage license through the mail (I sent off for it today) and then that's the LAST thing - for real this time - that we have to do to be finished with our preliminary paperwork. Thank. Goodness. I'm going to be super excited when it comes in the mail. I'll do a little happy dance and then take myself down to LDS Family Services to turn all this mess in.

I made copies of every single thing adoption-related to keep in my filing cabinet and also made sure I had all the receipts in a file for adoption-related expenses. Everything's organized and that makes me so happy!

This is exciting! I like making progress. Yay!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine's Day 2010

Since Valentine's Day fell on a Sunday this year, we celebrated Saturday night. We were both exhausted from a long day of working with hair clients, but we managed to get something to eat and then stayed home and played Scrabble and talked. Ha ha. I'm so low maintenance. I would be so pissed if Zay wasted money on flowers (that just DIE) or jewelry (not my thing) or chocolate (HELLO - I'm trying to lose weight!). All I wanted was some quality time... and Scrabble. :) I'm sure Zay's happy he was off the hook.

On Sunday, we taught Primary and we had a lot of fun! I feel so inadequate when I teach, but they're little kids and they don't care - they just want to have fun. So, it always ends up being such a good lesson and a fun time. I'm sure it has a lot to do with our class being made up of all girls. They are so well behaved! And Zay is soooo adorable with them. It was a good way to start off the day. Then we spent the rest of the day relaxing together and it felt so good to have nothing to do! It was a great Valentine's Day.

Zay and I started dating on September 22, 2001. As of Valentine's Day, it's been 8 years, 4 months, and 24 days since then! Or 3068 days! Holy cow! I can't believe it's been that long, but at the same time... I'm only 24 so I feel like I'm just getting started. I'm so looking forward to spending another 8 years, 4 months, and 24 days together. Ha ha ha. We talked about our relationship a little bit this weekend and Zay told me how much he loves being married and loves that we can just be ourselves around each other and everything's okay. It's nice and comfortable. And I definitely agree. :)

I made this digital scrapbook a couple years ago for Valentine's Day:

Monday, February 8, 2010

Super Bowl XLIV and My Top 10 Commercials

It's a requirement that I watch the Super Bowl every year. Which is cool - I like football, even though I hardly ever watch it during the season. And the commercials can be fun. And since Zay's proud of his ridiculously huge TV/entertainment center... he has to invite everyone in the world to our apartment to watch it. Ha ha. We had 22 people packed in here. We ran out of seats eventually and a lot of people just stood or tried to find two feet of empty space on the floor. It was great. One day we'll have a big enough space for the parties we throw, ha ha. :)

Zay and I spent Saturday and Sunday making all kinds of food - BBQ wings, hot wings, hamburgers, hot dogs, chilli, cornbread, potato salad, 7-layer-bean dip & green chile dip to go with like 5 different bags of chips. We had soda and juice. Mmmmm.....foooood. Somebody brought shells-n-cheese and brownies too.

My brother and sister-in-law came too... and let me tell you, she is so fun and talented. For any event, she just has to bake a cake or something. She made this football cake for the Super Bowl:

Superbowl football cake

And she made this amazing Superman birthday cake for Zay last year:

"Black Superman" birthday cake

She's so talented! And creative. I totally wanna be like her. :)

As for the game, it was pretty good. I think I expected more out of the Colts, but I was proud of the Saints for pulling it off. I was secretly rooting for them to win all along, but out loud I told people I was rooting for former BYU star Austin Collie from the Colts. Actually, I wouldn't have cared that much if either team had won. It was just fun to watch and be with friends and family.

There were a few good commercials and a couple movies I want to see. Here's my top 10:

#1 - Bud Light - T-Pain Autotune

#2 - VolksWagon - Green Police

#3 - Snickers - You're Not You When You're Hungry

#4 - Doritos - House Rules

#5 - McDonald's - LeBron James & Dwight Howard

#6 - Motorola - Megan Fox

#7 - - Casual Friday

#8 - VolksWagon - PunchDub

#9 - Movie Trailer - Shutter Island

#10 - Movie Trailer - Robinhood

Youtube won't let me embed this trailer, but you can watch it HERE.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

"Our" Songs

Valentine's Day is coming up! A lot of people may think Valentine's Day is shallow or whatever. And that's fine. I get it. But for me, I love celebrating anything, so it's just another fun day for me. :)

For me, it's a great time to remember the first feelings that attracted me to my hubby. Time can make you forget exactly how it felt. The easiest way that I can take myself waaay back and remember how Zay and I fell in love all those years ago... is to listen to "our" songs. Music is powerful and can change my mood *just like that*. I try to remember to put these songs on when I'm mad at him! Ha ha ha.

The early years...

Anyways, we have two songs that bring us right back to the very, very beginning of our relationship. We listened to these songs so much that they just became a part of who we were at the time. I don't know when they became "officially" ours, but they definitely hold a special place with us and describe the young, angsty love that brought us together. Ha ha. My heart is just beating so hard right now listening to them. Memories are rushing back... *blushing*

First is Jon B. & 2Pac's "Are U Still Down?" Jon B. was one smooth white boy, I can tell you that. He was something else in his day - a real smooth talker (like Zay...ha ha). This was back when R&B music really had soul. And 2Pac's verses are just icing on the cake. Gotta love 2Pac.

I looked up this video last night - it was actually the first time I've ever seen it. It's super corny, but the Cool Relax album was amazing, I promise. Ha ha.

"Are U Still Down?" Music Video:

Then, we have Ginuwine's "Differences." This song came out the year we met. It hit on every aspect of a man leaving his friends for his woman and changing him for the better - exactly how Zay would describe our relationship in the beginning. I love it. The words are amazing. And of course, Ginuwine is one of the sexiest men on the planet. So that helps too! :)

"Differences" Music Video:

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